One of Andrea's earliest memories was lying still in bed, waiting to be assaulted by the person hiding in her home. The catch was that no one was ever in her home, but the fear only grew bigger as she grew older. From the outside, Andrea has always appeared high functioning, well organized, and a hard worker. No one has ever noticed how many times she checks locks, cleans until she's shaking, or that she can never be alone in the dark. It wasn't util she was twenty-four that she was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that everything started to make sense. Throughout her treatment, Andrea has multiple barriers arise revolving around lack of safety including a life changing dog attack, While digging deeper into her childhood, Andrea looks to find the incidents and patterns that lead to her obsessions and compulsions becoming so severe. Will She push through the anger about all she lost during her childhood or will she let the anger take over her life and refuse to get better? This memoir tells her story.