"What's the first thing you remember?" The question was asked by a mother looking for a way to get to know her newly-adopted, 13-year-old son. She wondered if the boy would understand her question, or speak enough English to be able to answer. Before coming to the States a few months earlier, he had been in a Ukrainian orphanage. The boy's answer was so remarkable she wrote it down. The memory he shared was, at the same time, naive, worldly and shocking.

Over the next several years, she listened as he told her more stories about his life. She began to understand her son's unusual behavior, and he grew to trust his new mother. Their revealing stories will give you insight into adopting older children, and if it is our genes, experiences, or free will that determines who we become.