Ever since Eve asked Adam, "Do I look fat in this fig leaf?" it has been apparent that husbands don't know how to handle their wives. Men believe they understand women and vice versa, but really men know as much about women as a cocker spaniel knows about assembling a Weber grill. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook, a wide-ranging, laugh-out-loud perspective on love, marriage, and family. This is not an advice book. It is a don't even think of trying this book.

Steve Doocy, co-host of Fox & Friends, who has been married twenty consecutive years, provides real slice-of-life stories on everything from early marriage ("I love you, you're perfect, now wear this thong") and pregnancy ("You're eating for two? Who—you and Shaquille O'Neal?") to sending your child to college ("Is that a funnel?") and retirement (high-fiber appetizers on Viagra dates). Most stories conclude with "corrections" and additional wise words from Doocy's real-life wife, Kathy, who has developed a zany sense of humor herself. This book is a celebration of the pageantry that is wedlock, which starts with an "I do" and sometimes ends with a boiled rabbit. After all, marriage isn't always as smooth as a forty-year-old's forehead after six months of Botox. Marriage is ridiculously hard, but laughing about it is now incredibly easy with The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook.

Read by Steve amd Kathy Doocy