The end is near...

When the most prolific and lethal vampire hunter the world has ever known cancels his subscription to Tits, Middlesbrough locals know that something isn't right.

And that's an understatement...

The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on mankind. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans formed to hide the existence of the vampire, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that quells the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets life will never be the same again.

Unfortunately, Sid Tillsley cannot be called upon, and it wasn't even the vampires who cancelled his subscription to his all-time favourite periodical. Sid has got a job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month! But why?

Vampires would never be so cruel. Such devilry can only be the work of womenfolk..."