Sid Tillsley is back!

And this time he's not claiming benefits.

Sid is now a vampire-hunter, but even the coolest, most dangerous job in the world can't get him a shag, forcing him into the more hazardous world of Internet dating.

His trusted friends are having a hard time too. Arthur Peasley is being nagged to death and regrets knocking up his vampire missus. Brian Garforth has the opposite problem; vampires are so allergic to his "special sauce" that even a visit to the clinic won't save them. And then there's Peter Rathbone, who is still a greasy, horrible little bastard. Meanwhile, the Human-Vampire Coalition has shut the local boozer forcing the lads to drink sub-standard ale!

But Sid has a fight coming. Something lurks in the shadows, or rather, the closet. A Northerner will punch anything in the face, but one thing he fears is a direct attack on his sexuality...and the Campire draws near.

Meanwhile, the psychotic vampire Gunnar Ivansey wants revenge. Sid hit Gunnar so hard in the nuts he's never forgiven him. And with the death of vampire warlord Michael Vitrago, the floodgates are open for any vampire to enter Britain, the heart of the vampire nation, and wage war against humanity.

Can the Coalition prevent the vampire world from destroying mankind?

Can Sid get lucky on the Internet?

Can the Coalition use Sid to hunt Gunnar Ivansey?

Can Sid find a decent pint?

Until these questions are answered, does humanity have a chance if its only hope is Sid's great right hook...and a fistful of rubbers?