Understanding not only who you are but you are absolutely great just the way you are and that nothing need to change to make others happy. Self-imposed fears and inadequacies and upsets need to be dismissed. Religious families, cultural backgrounds, etc, so what?? You were not born to fit in to other's ideas of life. If "love" is present then it overcomes and accepts, if love isn't present then "conditional love" (which is selfish rubbish) takes over. You are entitled to be happy just the way you are.