Jules De la Cruz loves her job chasing dead beat dads and photographing philandering husbands for her one-woman firm, The Guy's a Loser Detective Agency. She gets to dress up, play spy, and bask in the sunsets of Santa Fe, New Mexico. This enjoyable lifestyle is shattered when the FBI volunteer her to catch the biggest loser of all: her ex-husband.

Soon, Jules is on a roller coaster ride through London, Paris and Rome chasing – and being chased by – a greedy art dealer, the CIA, and a radical group of aging monks. Along the way, Jules meets Thomas Palomar, a magazine writer who is interested in a set of mysterious "icons" that were stolen along with some weapons. Jules and Thomas uncover the horrible secret contained in the icons - but no one who knows the secret has lived to tell about it.