WRONG NUMBER . . . RIGHT PERSON!

Tatum may not have put "sexy stranger" on her Christmas list, but Santa knows what a good girl needs to make her holiday complete.

Just because my mother decided to set some small-hearted, grinchy restrictions on her Christmas celebration doesn't mean I can't host an inclusive holiday. I'm determined to create the brightest, happiest, pinkest, glitteriest, most loving holiday ever—in my one-bedroom apartment over a Christmas-themed bar.

Who cares? It's not where you spend the holiday that matters; it's who you spend it with, and my holiday spirit is in full force.

In fact, I'm feeling so cheery that when a stranger accidentally sends me a text to say he's on his way, I kindly text back to let him know he's reached the wrong number. Sure, I've had a little wine while wrapping presents, so I maybe say a little more. And when he replies? Well, it would be rude not to respond.

Quicker than I can stick myself in the knee with a pair of scissors, I've got a full-fledged flirty text convo going with some random guy who might be a doctor, might be a criminal . . . might be the perfect addition to my holiday guest list.

And if I happen to extend an invite to a drag queen Mrs. Claus and the vampire throuple from across the street? Hey, the more the merrier, right? 'Tis the season!

Light the fireworks and pour the champagne! The naughty list is ready to make merry!