What happens to a child living in a conventional 1950's suburb who has a secret life that is anything but conventional? How does Francis create a future when the present is so dangerous? Not only has he been violently sexually traumatized as a child, but he is also attracted to men in an era when homosexuality is morally and legally condemned. He faces a life of contempt and violence.

He becomes a spy, someone who watches people and even his own life from a secret distance.

This novel follows the path that leads Francis from childhood, through adolescence in a Catholic seminary and finally into adulthood. There are no straight lines here and no easy answers. As Francis follows out this pathway with dead ends and detours he discovers almost by accident something real that wells up inside him that connects him to other people and life.