Written in "British English" and contains swearing. Approximately 47,000 words.

What could be more relaxing than to hire a narrowboat and explore England's sleepy canal system? Well, lots of things. We have here unique access to one extended family's holiday diary detailing their ... many and varied ... experiences during a fortnight's hire of a narrowboat from a large corporate hire centre in fictional Middlebunellemerewich. Canal locks, mooring up, tunnels, the secret code of rooftop items, crossing the world-famous Pontcysyllte Aqueduct - it's all in here. Most of the entries are written by the family dog. By the end of the fortnight the family, never close to begin with, is on the verge of self-destruction, are are most real families after chancing their arm on a boat holiday.